L3 | S2 | W19: Simmonds hits a second-half hat-trick as Tantany Rangers pull five clear

📰 Week 19 in Review – Season 2

League football was back across all four divisions of the Unreal Academy this week, and it delivered plenty to chew on. The big story of the night goes to Simmonds, who hit all three as Tantany Rangers thrashed Anfield Rockets 3-0 and stretched their lead at the top of Division 4 to five points. Meanwhile, Division 1’s title race took yet another unexpected twist when Melchester Rovers came to the Kevin Hitchcock Arena and left with all three points – West London Blue still sit joint top on 41 with Mighty Greens, but their goal difference advantage is gone. And in Division 2, Vale Madrid quietly went about their business and beat Alveley Wolves 1-0 to hand the leaders’ chasers a potential lifeline.

Division 3 was the week’s busiest division for storylines: Richmond, already confirmed champions, marched to another routine win while the pack below them jostled fiercely for the promotion positions that matter. And Trumpton – that Division 2 curiosity – finally ended their run of away blanks. Sort of. They drew 1-1 at Carrotasaray. It took 19 weeks but a point and a goal on the road is a start.

🏆 Division 1 – The Bottom Has Fallen Out

West London Blue and Mighty Greens remain locked together at the summit on 41 points after 19 games, but the two sides had very different weeks. Loz Newbold’s West London Blue were beaten at home by Melchester Rovers – Perez opening the scoring in the 3rd minute, Downie adding a second before the break, and Desailly’s 37th-minute consolation not enough to rescue it. Mighty Greens, meanwhile, saw their own afternoon undone by a Special Criminals side who ran out 3-1 winners – Corleone with two and Vader with one. A strange week for both sides, and the title picture no clearer than it was seven days ago.

⚠️ West London Blue led on goal difference (+15 to +13) going into the week. They now sit on +14 to Mighty Greens’ +11 – a margin that has narrowed but still holds. With 11 games left, any kind of slip from either side is going to be punished.

Down at the bottom, Leicester Lightening and Grange Hill Rovers both failed to improve, sitting on 10 points each from 19 games. Leicester drew 0-0 at home to Grange Hill, which is about as bleak as it gets – a point each, but neither side is anywhere near safety. Their last five league results between them contain one win and seven defeats. Patrick’s Leicester side have been unable to score away from home in their last five attempts, and the writing has been on the wall for weeks. The dugout at Grange Hill remains in the curious position of being more concerned with Supremos Cup quarter-final preparations than league survival. Geoff Baxter has a cross-division fixture against Grove Old Boys in the cup to focus on, even as relegation edges ever closer in the table.

⚠️ Both Leicester Lightening and Grange Hill Rovers are 8 points from safety with 11 games left. The probability of a miracle escape is slim. A third relegated side from the bottom three will be confirmed if results continue as they are.

💙 Division 2 – Frenchy’s Extend, Wolves Take a Hit

Division 2 had a week that should please Nick Bristow’s Frenchy’s Dons no end. Sitting on 41 points going in, they beat Deportivo La Rochelle 2-0 – French and Mackie with the goals – to move to 44 and open a five-point gap on Alveley Wolves, who were beaten 1-0 at home by Vale Madrid. Croasdale got the only goal in the 58th minute and suddenly the Wolves, who had been breathing down Frenchy’s necks for most of the season, find themselves needing to look over their own shoulder at Supremos and Kaapstad as much as looking up at the leaders.

🔍 Vale Madrid sit 8th in Division 2 on 27 points, yet their home record this season is remarkable: seven wins, two draws, zero defeats. Croasdale’s winner against Wolves is not a fluke – Marco Silva’s side are impossible to beat at Vale Park. Their league position tells one story; their home form tells quite another.

The bottom of the division is beginning to develop an anxious look. Crazy Aces picked up a fifth consecutive defeat – beaten 2-0 at Camden Town – and remain marooned on 7 points with 11 games to go. Alan Latchley’s side have won once in 19 attempts. Tayside Royal are next on 13, and Trumpton – despite their away-day breakthrough – sit on 15. The bottom three are separated by just 8 points from the nearest competition, but that cushion is getting tighter week by week for the clubs above them. Trumpton’s 1-1 draw at Carrotasaray at least brought the relief of an away goal, something Stuart Merry’s side had managed precisely zero times across nine previous away trips this season.

❤️ Division 3 – Promotion Places Up For Grabs

Richmond are done and dusted – 53 points from 19 games, a perfect home record, Ted Lasso’s side head to Fulchester United next week in a fixture that means very little for the champions but an enormous amount for those chasing. Yakubu added his 20th league goal of the season with the only goal against Silversprings United, and the conversation in Division 3 has fully moved on to who joins the champions in promotion.

💡 St Venage Borough climbed to second after Westhill Town came to Fulchester and won 1-0, dropping Tommy Brown’s side to third. Wayne McCauley’s Borough beat White Horse 2-1 – Quigley and Maamria with the goals in the second half – and now sit two clear of Fulchester with games in hand looking favourable. Portsea City are the story of the last few weeks, climbing to sixth on 29 points after winning at Real Braintree 3-1 – Layden, Johnsen and Boyle all on the scoresheet.

At the foot of Division 3, Waterside Rovers lost again – 0-2 to Gwent Saints, where Top Bins Thompson bagged both goals – and sit 15th on 13 points. Mount Florida AFC remain bottom on 9, with David Hopkins’ side still searching for anything resembling a run. The arrival of John Forster as manager at Silversprings United is a welcome development for a club sitting 13th with 16 points – the new appointment comes as Silversprings need points badly, and Forster will be judged quickly on what he can engineer in the second half of the season.

💛 Division 4 – Simmonds Does It Again

If you needed a reason to watch Division 4, this was it. Tantany Rangers were at their devastating best against Anfield Rockets, with Simmonds completing a 12-minute hat-trick in the second half – goals in the 54th, 66th and 79th minutes to give Lee Von Cleef’s side a 3-0 win that looked anything but comfortable on paper before kick-off. Rangers move to 40 points, five ahead of Grove Old Boys with 11 games remaining. Grove lost 0-2 at Thetford Tigers – Black and Gilding with the goals in the first half – and now find themselves five back having led the pack for stretches of this season.

💡 Simmonds now has 12 league goals for the season – all for Tantany Rangers. His hat-trick against Anfield Rockets was wrapped up in 25 minutes of second-half football. For a side with the best defensive record in the division, the fact they can produce this kind of individual firepower up front makes them a very different proposition to play against than the table alone suggests.

Thetford Tigers’ win over Grove Old Boys is significant beyond the scoreline. The Tigers move to 30 points and into fourth place, and they do it while still carrying the unmanaged tag – the dugout at Abbey Farm is empty, yet results keep coming. Whether that situation changes before the season ends remains to be seen, but four wins in their last five suggests the playing group are finding a way regardless. Woodfarm Warriors are one of the other unmanaged sides in the division, and they managed a 2-1 win over Tottenham Mustangs – Pinho and Stapleton the scorers – to edge to 21 points and some breathing room in mid-table.

🏆 Supremos Cup – Quarter-Finals Approaching

No cup action this week, but the quarter-final draw is set for Week 23 and the eight surviving clubs will be turning their attention to that fixture alongside the league programme. The standout tie remains Grange Hill Rovers – bottom of Division 1 – facing Grove Old Boys of Division 4. Geoff Baxter’s side have now been knocked out of the title race entirely; the cup is the only meaningful objective left. Shin Kickers against Gwent Saints is the other eye-catching draw, with both sides having beaten top-division opposition to reach this stage. Prize money of £250,000 per quarter-final winner will sharpen minds considerably when week 23 arrives.

🗞️ Around the League

This week’s score draw pool produced five scoring draws across the divisions, and four managers guessed correctly. Luke Finnegan of Harchester United, Ted Lasso of Richmond, Chris Houldey of White Horse and Andy D of Mighty Greens each take home £200,000. A healthy pool and a good spread of winners across divisions.

The televised fixtures this week were Shin Kickers vs Delboys Hellboys in Division 1, Kaapstad vs München Biscuits in Division 2, White Horse vs St Venage Borough in Division 3, and Brompton Hotspur vs Tintagel Knights in Division 4. The Division 3 clash produced the best result for the neutral – St Venage Borough’s comeback win away from home.

The police had a quieter week than in recent rounds, with a single incident to report: fighting broke out among supporters at the Team Van Holland vs Frenchy’s Dons friendly, resulting in 2 arrests and £10,000 of stadium damage. Low-level by recent standards, but a reminder that friendly matches carry real-world consequences.

Welcome to John Forster, who takes the reins at Silversprings United. The club sit 13th in Division 3 on 16 points – not in immediate danger, but not comfortable either. Plenty for the new manager to get his teeth into. At the other end of the standings, the player form tables this week spotlight S. Yakubu of Richmond as the top-ranked attacker in Division 3 with a momentum score of 4.77 – comfortably ahead of the rest. Top Bins Thompson of Gwent Saints also made the list after netting twice against Waterside Rovers and is one to keep an eye on.